It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
