i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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