a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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