Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
