I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
