Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I will die if light touches me.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
