Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
