Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
barbara walters just said penis...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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