I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
