so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
