Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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