We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
