R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
