I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize