Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You don't make any sense
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