Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize