maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
