3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
