I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Panties = found
Randomize
