I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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