I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
where am i from again
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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