oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
