i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
