yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
