when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
