OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it's like iHOP with fire
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
