Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
