well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
