And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
