If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
