I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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