I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
