i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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