Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
