my mouth tastes like poor choices
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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