Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
