The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
