Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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