Can Purell be used as lube?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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