Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
