After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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