I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
