After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
