Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
