All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
