Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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