when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
