when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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