I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just gift wrapped bread.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
