You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
