I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Randomize
