he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
