My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
