You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
