is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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