I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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