My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
