Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Randomize
