dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
