Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
