I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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