That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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