now i know why i became what i already was.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
