Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
oh god the rape fog is back!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pants are for mortals
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
