Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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