i barfeds in our rink
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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