my soul wont recognize me after tonight
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
