Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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