If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
